Boundaries For Being Friends With An Ex



While it’s essential to stretch your boundaries, being compelled to do so is unhealthy. You need to be clear on what you are and aren't comfortable with. However, neither does it preclude that possibility. Psychologist's Reply. Women are touchy-feely creatures with an acute sense of intuition. Properly establishing boundaries gives you the freedom to live your life to the fullest and the strength to be there for others in a worthwhile way. Ask Your Partner How They Feel of boundaries. It's okay -- and sometimes necessary -- to set functional boundaries with people suffering from borderline personality disorder (BPD). Here’s how to tell if he is trustworthy & really over his ex. Falling in love with someone you became friends with is never a good idea. The kids literally ruled the house. I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to ask but I hope everyone is having a nice day. That’s how toxicity works. ” I was right with him! He told me right away that he was friends with his ex and her live-in boyfriend and introduced me to them. A few years ago I attended a party that was broken up by the cops—and when it happened, I was sitting next to my boss. Boundaries means that your conversations are only limited to your child, cause that's what you have in common. Ryan, a sophomore at the University of Missouri––Kansas City, agrees. Yes, you’re still friends, and friends help each other out, but it’s important to separate the nice things you do for your friend from the hope that they’ll love you back if you just give enough. Being friends prior. 11 Ways to Set Boundaries with Narcissists Dan Neuharth, Ph. Who knows, maybe deep down inside they really want to get over you but they’re stuck. Is it okay to create boundaries with the opposite sex if you are marriage? Or are boundaries silly and archaic, straight out of the 20s? Well, there are two ways to look at boundaries in marriage; you can look at them as protective or restrictive. Contact Couples Therapist Suzanne Rucker at 407-967-9313 or by email [email protected] Spend more time with friends and family. Without such boundaries, any program can present enough demands to usurp all of your time, doing so in a way that appears absolutely necessary. Home » Blog » 5 Ways to Maintain Boundaries with Difficult People. There's a good chance that your ex-husband's new girlfriend isn't your favorite person, but you can manage the situation without ending up in a cat fight. Being in love with your ex, and secretly hoping to win them back, can be a powerful motivation for staying friends with them, but it’s also unfortunately one of the most dangerous ones. Respect and Personal Boundaries in ADHD Relationships. Aside from being a great film, it sets the benchmark for storytelling where the focus is on ending a damaging relationship with a stalker. Our programs are research based, combining a solid curriculum with the strength of collaborative support to provide solace and recovery for both couples and individuals. We do this once a week, but when we go out we hold hands, kiss, and hug like if we're a couple. would have after seeing an ex after 13 years and being. “Is it worth it staying friends with an ex?” is a question typically asked by anyone in the midst of a breakup, and unfortunately, it’s never an easy one to answer. It’s not out of ill will, but rather a natural. In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who shares his … Read More about Becoming Best Friends & Lovers. The best part, most agreed, is "the friendship that emerges along. by Jann Blackstone-Ford, MA and Sharyl Jupe. If becoming friends with or at the very least being polite to your ex's new wife makes life easier for your children then you should try and befriend them. Women’s strategies to protect themselves and their children from abuse involved setting boundaries to govern their interactions with ex-husbands. you're terrified of being alone/your biological clock is ticking/he was great on paper/you're heartbroken over somebody else/you want to. I’ve been invited to a boss’s wedding and gone to dinner with several more. This sparked something in me and I confronted him to say I am not happy they text occasional messages on a weekend during his family time and I don't like him eating alone with her. Enmeshed relationships, however, are bereft of these boundaries, according to Ross Rosenberg, M. Being friends with your ex-boyfriend can work well if you’re clear about your boundaries and take it slow. 4 "Rules" For a Husband's Friendships With Other Women Mary Beth Sammons. Manipulation is a way to covertly influence someone with indirect, deceptive, or abusive tactics. I feel uncomfortable, and he refuses to stop talking to her, insisting they are “just friends”. To be friends or not to be friends, that is the question. So if you are still friends with your ex, it's a good idea to be honest about it to your new partner. If a friend is being too demanding without showing up for you when you need it, then set some boundaries. Aside from being a great film, it sets the benchmark for storytelling where the focus is on ending a damaging relationship with a stalker. However, neither does it preclude that possibility. that’s not a friend. Is it okay of me to argue with my husband about my brother-in-law's ex-wife spending time with him and buying him gifts? Dear Jay, My husband's brother was recently divorced. Now I am being bullied/ignored by everyone and it does crush your integrity, ego and self esteem. Not respecting boundaries and. It is the adult’s responsibility to teach youngsters where the boundaries lie. Why You Should Never, Ever Be Friends With Students April 9, 2014 May 7, 2011 by Michael Linsin One of the keys to effective classroom management is to build relationships with students. Well, you’ve tried and tried to establish boundaries to make co parenting with a narcissist work, but life is still a living hell whenever you interact with your ex. But at times we also have to say the difficult things our dearest friend needs to hear. "Is it worth it staying friends with an ex?" is a question typically asked by anyone in the midst of a breakup, and unfortunately, it's never an easy one to answer. Respecting Boundaries — The Don'ts of Dual Relationships By Claudia J. The Child Mind Institute, Inc. Just as poor boundaries can be self-reinforcing, so too can having strong ones. The later we start that, the more di cult it will be but it is never too late to start. Ask Your Partner How They Feel of boundaries. Read about setting boundaries with borderline personality disorder sufferers (Setting Functional Boundaries). Whether it is a relationship with your spouse, partner, ex-spouse, parent, child, stepchild, sibling, in-laws, stepparent, grandchild, grandparent, friend, coworker or anyone else, your life and relationship can be different—even if the other person doesn’t want to change. "The fact. If you let sex ruin the good times you have that aren’t sexual, the entire thing will be out of whack. I am so jealous of my husband’s ex-wife. People with Borderline Personaility Disorder can get along with a wide range of people because they have no "self". i have been through so much with him, so much pain we’ve both equally shared. Blended families & ex-etiquette for parents: good behavior after a divorce or separation. You both know what this is. I want to make sure we aren't just being petty or immature for being so upset by my MIL's relationship with his ex. If your partner is seeing an ex regularly, it's opportunity for more, and jeopardy for your relationship. Or maybe he or she is continually critical, and you end up on the receiving end of his or her drama and negativity. It may occur between parents and children, husbands and wives, siblings or close friends. That probably includes not living together. you sound very accomodating to your ex. Then you’re. If a friendship with your ex is important, establishing boundaries in the beginning sets the new friendship up for success. At times you will choose to “go the extra mile” and at other times you will say, “No. And when the benefits stop, you'll end up losing a friend. However, neither does it preclude that possibility. Absolutely No Hooking Up. When you have dissolved your emotional reactions to someone that is lying then it becomes a simple process of. I say this because many of people don't know what their boundaries are, when in fact they should roll off your tongue like the alphabet. " It is someone you can get away with drunk texting on Friday. A large part of being consensual about friendship expectations is respecting each other’s boundaries – something that mainstream society makes difficult by generally ignoring the concept of personal boundaries altogether. Pick up the phone and reach out to a friend. One is declining the offer when and if it comes by being frank with your friend and. "The fact. I see both sides. In this video, we answer the question - Is it ok to be friends with 'the Ex'? We highlight some reasons why one chooses to be friends with the Ex. DeLuca If your boyfriend's ex-wife is constantly seeking his emotional support about personal things (not related to co-parenting matters) this can certainly make you raise an eyebrow. She was also my ex-husband Sam’s. If you feel friendly towards your ex, then yes, you should be friends. When children are involved, however, communicating with your ex is a necessary evil. You might also give some thought to why you’re feeling insecure or jealous about your partner being friends with their ex. My Ex's Current. ” There is one caveat of being the gal before his bride, as one girl. You may wish to add to the listings provided, as you collectively explore and reflect upon boundaries within your school. He lets her. I’m not comfortable with my boyfriend having a female best friend, but I would still be upset if this was happening with one of his male friends. That is the reason why you need to know exactly where you are standing with your ex and what the boundaries are in order not to destroy what you have just started. Their three children. Kristen Doute of Vanderpump Rules fame confirmed on Instagram Sunday that she had separated from her boyfriend Brian Carter. he wasn't even going to accept the friend request, but his ex mother in law, who has remain a part of our lives, asked him to. You may be in a relationship with a narcissist, or divorcing one, or trying to co-parent with a narcissist after your divorce. There are three of them, which I call the inner, middle, and outer boundaries of godly sexuality. "The fact. "Stepparenting is a. That's depressing. With both of us in the midst of massive career and potential location changes. Psychologist's Reply. Like the time she reached out to her ex-boyfriend from high school after her divorce for some companionship and he wanted nothing to do with her. When you have dissolved your emotional reactions to someone that is lying then it becomes a simple process of. I REALLY don't want that to happen, but I just don't know what to do. It’s not out of ill will, but rather a natural. The Perils Of Being 'Friends' With Your Boss On Social Media Think before you 'add'. The idea of being friends with this individual may sound ludicrous to you, but if you and your ex share custody of your kids, it's in everyone's best interest for you to be at least congenial with. If you have problems with borderline symptomatology, and if you look closely, you will see that all of your interpersonal difficulties in both the past and the present were—and are—based in feelings of rage as a result of the trauma of being—or feeling—unnoticed and emotionally abandoned. And being scared is no way to be in a relationship. And that is our spouse. With this background, such a sentence is only a slap in the face, and an insult. Unfortunately, sin and temptation lead some people beyond appropriate relationship boundaries using these social media sites as a means of intimate communication with people outside of their marriage. Put Boundaries in Place. I should mention said ex-boyfriend was married. Boundaries and limits must be clarified upfront. There are many resources on the Internet about parenting and it focuses more on techniques that modifies your child’s behavior. It’s contagious and insidious, even in kind, well-adjusted people. If being friends is not possible, respect the decision and move on. Being friends with an ex is a bit of an unusual situation, and it's OK for her to point that out, or to feel worried at first. If your choice is between being liked or respected, always choose the latter. Reply; Jasmine November. Some of the rules are rational but difficult for those of us who relish the. Featured Image via screengrab of The Break-Up. Look, my ex-husband's wife is the same way and has been for years even though they've only been married for one year. And you have probably told your ex “we can’t be friends” because you think that being friends with your ex will ruin your chances of getting back together. When a woman’s. about either. Put Boundaries in Place. Sep 23 2016, 7:40pm. While the majority of this panel felt these kind of short hugs were appropriate, they did offer a few cautions about regular and lengthy hugging with the opposite sex. They allow us to separate who we are, and what we think and feel, from the thoughts and feelings of others. Tell them that you are just friends, share your plans of meeting your ex, and maybe introduce them. How close is too close to an ex? Fraser advises setting boundaries. According to Grant Brenner, a psychiatrist and co-author of Relationship Sanity: Creating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships, she can even feel like being close to you, emotionally and physically, is akin to cheating on her ex. ” There is one caveat of being the gal before his bride, as one girl. Like gravity, you cannot see an emotional boundary or lack thereof, but you can see and experience the results. "Start by asking yourself how you feel about maintaining contact with friends and family of your ex," she said. Home » Blog » 5 Ways to Maintain Boundaries with Difficult People. Boundaries in relationships is a good dynamic to learn. When you bring up being FWB, you also have to lay down some boundaries. “I am simply not the relationship type. I'm not gonna sit there and be making out with my man and see them make out with their girl. The chemistry you had together will always stay there and your friends will see that, which will not help you at all. The toxic ex-wife or husband doesn't respect the boundaries of their relationship with their ex. She perceives you as overstepping boundaries. It may occur between parents and children, husbands and wives, siblings or close friends. But losing a psychopath is not like losing a friend/family member; it's not like losing a regular, loving partner. I should know And I am far from being the only person who has enjoyed a far better relationship with their former spouse after divorce. Mind Games are part of this complex cover-up that hides the perpetrator’s real need and desire for human connection. If someone continually pries on you or asks your friends for details you won’t provide, this may be a precursor to more intensified. Maybe, If You Are Definitely Over Your Ex "Being platonic friends with an ex (after a bit of cooling off time) is completely fine, as long as you respect boundaries, don't force your partner to. i think you need to stand up for what you believe and. Many claim that being friends with your ex is the "mature" thing to do, but I always feel like those people are confusing maturity with masochism. My boyfriend's ex-wife takes advantage of him. One of the biggest challenges of being in a relationship with someone who has kids, is the ongoing presence of their ex. But how do you handle this new relationship with your ex-husband without slipping back into the same old habits of interacting with each other?. If your relationship ended simply because it was no longer working for you both, then of course yo. This site is about step moms and dealing with being a stepmom and all that comes with it. Physical boundaries provide a barrier between you and an intruding force, like a Band-Aid protects a wound from bacteria. You might also give some thought to why you’re feeling insecure or jealous about your partner being friends with their ex. Ex wants to be friends I want more: You don't want to be Friend-Zoned by the one you love! This is the most obvious reason. There are people out there who will love you so much and love being with you just the way you are, and letting go of the people who feel bad to be around will make room for the ones who feel good to be with. Only by maintaining healthy boundaries can you demonstrate real love for yourself and for others. Maybe it's time to revisit the boundaries you've set or, if you haven't set any, to have that discussion. An ex, for example, is a catastrophic idea in almost all cases, and ditto for anyone you consider a close friend. Dealing with the signs of a. Unless you’re uber-civilized and still super-good friends with your ex, here are eight ways you’re being TOO nice after a breakup: 1. Nobody knows you better than yourself - if you think you can do it, you can. He will have to decide when it is appropriate to bring you into their lives. Whaaaatttt the fuuuug?. Evaluate how genuine your friendship was with your ex's loved ones and decide whether that friendship is worth maintaining. Put Boundaries in Place. They are created to clarify what are acceptable and unacceptable behaviors from others. Doing all this will save you, your ex and your new partner a lot. I know the ex factor is something I'm stuck dealing with, and I'm okay with that. Its intent is to define the boundaries of godly human sexual relationships. The kids literally ruled the house. When a wounded wife wants to leave her husband it is because she no longer trusts him with her heart. You may be in a relationship with a narcissist, or divorcing one, or trying to co-parent with a narcissist after your divorce. 14 Rules To Follow When Getting Back With Your Ex. Parents share confidences and sexual intimacy with one another that is not shared with the children or others outside the family. Even that much is a big benefit to you and your step-kids. Is being close to your friends and parents part of that vision? If not, then maybe relocating might not be a big deal for you. Guest blogger Dawn wanted to share with you how Facebook was used to hurt and damage her marriage. He insists on making stops along their West Coast route to visit friends from his hippie past—who just so happen to be customers, too. Marie Lodi. I ALREADY HAVE WONDERFUL NEWS!! Just from the video via your website, before attaining the reading materials, I talked with my ex yesterday for 40 MINUTES!! It has been months since we have talked that long like friends. What is Enmeshment? Enmeshment is a dysfunctional state where a two or more people have porous and indistinguishable boundaries. We think we can be just friends with benefits, but we're not wired that way. We have had a problem because she is extremely attractive and "approachable. he has shared custody and while it's great to aim for a fabulous coparenting relationship, it's hard to make a reality. Considering the stress they can create, knowing how to deal with controlling people effectively is serious business and it requires a key set of people skills. Your ex must understand her interaction with you is as your children’s mother. Professional Boundaries for Caregivers Participant Guide UW Oshkosh CCDET 5 March 2010 Type of Boundary Crossing Staying In Bounds Sharing Personal Information: It may be tempting to talk to your client about your personal life or problems. I invite you to explore Is There a Dry Drunk in Your Life? As a substance abuse counselor, clients have come to me thrilled that their loved one has stopped drinking, yet report that their partnership is as brittle as tinder and inexplicably worse than before. I realized I have been very bad setting communication boundaries with my ex husband. You do not know this person, nor do you want to insert yourself into their lives. In the New York Times bestseller, Boundaries, Drs. I tell you this not because he is a famous sports hero, international movie star, or political head of state. You need to keep the contact to the minimum at the beginning. Is it really necessary that a first wife and a second wife get along? Of course not, if you don't care how long it takes for your kids to adjust to life after your divorce and remarriage. Psychologist Dr. While it’s essential to stretch your boundaries, being compelled to do so is unhealthy. One of the biggest challenges of being in a relationship with someone who has kids, is the ongoing presence of their ex. Being considerate and respectful includes letting your ex know about school events, being flexible about your schedule when possible, and taking their opinion seriously. How To Deal With Sneaky Manipulative People Published on Your beliefs are your boundaries. You both know what this is. Kristen Doute of Vanderpump Rules fame confirmed on Instagram Sunday that she had separated from her boyfriend Brian Carter. It's his take that I'm being unfair by scheduling things on his time. Complete the following sentences. Boundaries means that your conversations are only limited to your child, cause that's what you have in common. They have been dating a little over 3 months now and we have two small children together. The Friend Zone Deconstructed: How Guys Get In It And 3 Steps To Get Out Of It real friends. Someone is confused or deliberately being dishonest. you're terrified of being alone/your biological clock is ticking/he was great on paper/you're heartbroken over somebody else/you want to. If you think being friends with the source of your pain. The narcissistic friend does not recognize boundaries. Keep talking. Inn other words, don’t hate the vindictive ex, pity the vindictive ex. That’s bad ex-etiquette. And you have probably told your ex “we can’t be friends” because you think that being friends with your ex will ruin your chances of getting back together. Ambiguous boundaries often arise in counselling, but strict responsibilities do apply to the counsellor in relation to their duty to inform clients of the limitations on client confidentiality. Physical boundaries include your body, sense of personal space, sexual orientation, and privacy. Thou shalt allow your boundaries to be violated, especially by those who “love” you. It may occur between parents and children, husbands and wives, siblings or close friends. How to create a great relationship where you not only become passionate lovers, but you also become the best of friends and share common interests, goals, values, experiences and memories. Narcissists are only concerned about themselves and can be unreasonable, selfish, emotionally volatile, and manipulative. But I offer suggestions like if she is being cranky - hang with your friends. He seems to have always had them for her while she is probably not over her ex, or just not as committed to the idea of them as a “thing. Out of Bounds: Dealing with People Who Break Boundaries Posted on October 30, 2009 by brett — 55 Comments ↓ Most people have a sense of what is and isn't appropriate when it comes to respecting boundaries. They are created to clarify what are acceptable and unacceptable behaviors from others. One of the most difficult aspects of being tangled in a narcissist's web is learning to set firm boundaries with them. Unfortunately, people who are manipulative, narcissistic, and have a poor sense of self tend to repeatedly violate personal boundaries. But how do you handle this new relationship with your ex-husband without slipping back into the same old habits of interacting with each other?. Tell them that you are just friends, share your plans of meeting your ex, and maybe introduce them. Boundaries are meant to keep both friends feeling safe and comfortable in a relationship. Yes, you’re still friends, and friends help each other out, but it’s important to separate the nice things you do for your friend from the hope that they’ll love you back if you just give enough. Few relationship questions are as polarizing as whether or not you should stay friends with an ex. Honesty isn't just about speaking the truth to your partner. If a friendship with your ex is important, establishing boundaries in the beginning sets the new friendship up for success. to set your boundaries and this is an absolute “must pick up the kids at 10am on Saturday and has a habit of being late, you. But at times we also have to say the difficult things our dearest friend needs to hear. People have written me that they've heard this one after several years of being together. She was sexy in every way. But losing a psychopath is not like losing a friend/family member; it's not like losing a regular, loving partner. You might also give some thought to why you're feeling insecure or jealous about your partner being friends with their ex. So--we are looking for a therapist that will help us set better boundaries--we are really struggling with the balance between setting acceptable ones for us and being overwhelmed by the level of enforcement needed--with his level of hostility (his very expressive and enthusiastic level of affection until age 13 or so really kept us going. Living with an ex doesn't sound like a good idea, but it works for these happily divorced couples. Within the context of discussing codependency and its relation to the female partner of the recovering male alcoholic, there will be an exploration into the area of feminism as it relates to the therapy of the spouse. Your constant presence makes it hard for them to forget you. "It's hard to hear from mutual friends about him being with other girls, or. 1 Crossing the professional boundary—for example, a hug after a bereavement—may be beneficial to a patient. If you think being friends with the source of your pain. How close is too close to an ex? Fraser advises setting boundaries. It is making me unhappy. But how do you handle this new relationship with your ex-husband without slipping back into the same old habits of interacting with each other?. Be on the same page with him. That is the reason why you need to know exactly where you are standing with your ex and what the boundaries are in order not to destroy what you have just started. Have a sit down and let it be known to him what you want. We all need a work wife, but becoming friends with your coworkers can be a tricky thing. We all want to get our needs met, but manipulators use underhanded methods. Along the same lines, her children do not have a relationship with their father. She was always allowed to discuss her feelings or her unhappiness, but I was never allowed to discuss mine. If you suspect you are being mined for personal information for whatever reason, ask yourself if this is a case where you are constantly being asked to reveal personal things about yourself but your friend reveals little or nothing about themselves. Why BPD relationships are so complicated. I tell you this not because he is a famous sports hero, international movie star, or political head of state. And you have probably told your ex "we can't be friends" because you think that being friends with your ex will ruin your chances of getting back together. Learn to do for you. Being friends with an ex is a bit of an unusual situation, and it's OK for her to point that out, or to feel worried at first. Now he has his own social life so he is not as tied to her. Falling in love with someone you became friends with is never a good idea. To be friends or not to be friends, that is the question. you’re terrified of being alone/your biological clock is ticking/he was great on paper/you’re heartbroken over somebody else/you want to. The idea of being friends with this individual may sound ludicrous to you, but if you and your ex share custody of your kids, it's in everyone's best interest for you to be at least congenial with. We have been dating for almost three years, and they have been divorced for over four years. There's a good chance that your ex-husband's new girlfriend isn't your favorite person, but you can manage the situation without ending up in a cat fight. God wants us to have friends — to be in relationship with one another. You need to keep the contact to the minimum at the beginning. In fact, I began by writing a several hundred word tirade about how the Narc is acting like the poor hurt puppy in this narcissistic relationship and how dare he, after all he’s done. Blended families & ex-etiquette for parents: good behavior after a divorce or separation. I remember biting my tongue when my ex told me he was going to be busy Saturday night. It brings them great joy to be generous to their grandkids and see their faces light up when they are. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life and set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself. ” I was right with him! He told me right away that he was friends with his ex and her live-in boyfriend and introduced me to them. In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who shares his … Read More about Becoming Best Friends & Lovers. I figure there are at least two different reasons why an ex won’t let go. I invite you to explore Is There a Dry Drunk in Your Life? As a substance abuse counselor, clients have come to me thrilled that their loved one has stopped drinking, yet report that their partnership is as brittle as tinder and inexplicably worse than before. But it doesn’t have to. But we need to talk about boundaries. ” There is one caveat of being the gal before his bride, as one girl. That's bad ex-etiquette. he wasn't even going to accept the friend request, but his ex mother in law, who has remain a part of our lives, asked him to. You need to give yourself time to sort through your emotions, and to separate your. When a wounded wife wants to leave her husband it is because she no longer trusts him with her heart. Apologize to the bio-mom for overstepping your boundaries and giving unsolicited feedback. Without knowing the differences between the boundaries of a personal and professional. Ex-Liverpool player Stephen Darby, 31, describes his battle with 'horrible' motor neurone disease a year on from his diagnosis and reveals how 'terrible prognosis' affects his wife, Lionesses. I finally awoke to the disturbing fact of my soon to be ex husband being a psychopath. Mothers often turned to family court for assistance in setting boundaries to keep children safe, but found that family court did not respond in ways they believed protected their children. Being friends prior. When working together, pay attention to the roles you two have and keep that in your mind while interacting. Without such boundaries, any program can present enough demands to usurp all of your time, doing so in a way that appears absolutely necessary. Some topics may no longer be your business anymore. "People do change, and they might change into someone better. They give all appearances of potentially being a great friend. He and his ex talked and texted every day. Some of the friends she unfriended were still in her social circle, so seeing them felt awkward. Then you’re. Consequently, it can be very difficult to go from being lovers to friends with an ex after a breakup. It's not exactly like the movies. To begin with, recognizing that you have a toxic ex will help you develop a strategy to deal with them, whether on a one-to-one basis or in the courts. How to Manipulate a Narcissist ~ Surviving in a Narcissistic Relationship. Learn to do for you. You can be friends with your ex. When children are involved, however, communicating with your ex is a necessary evil. Demarcation of where you end and another begins and where you begin and another ends. We all need a work wife, but becoming friends with your coworkers can be a tricky thing. Step 2: Setting Your Boundaries Learn to set boundaries with others. You're playing with fire when you have sex with a friend. DeLuca If your boyfriend's ex-wife is constantly seeking his emotional support about personal things (not related to co-parenting matters) this can certainly make you raise an eyebrow. While it’s essential to stretch your boundaries, being compelled to do so is unhealthy. A lack of boundaries, however, is actually rude to others and is cruel to others and to yourself. I don’t think a student wants you to be a friend anyway – they have their peers for that. They have been dating a little over 3 months now and we have two small children together. Hi Simone, I went through a similar situation with an ex-friend.